Some days I feel like I have motherhood figured out, I’m on my game, house cleaned, healthy meals cooked, laundry washed AND FOLDED (it’s a huge accomplishment) the kids have had no screen time, I’ve had meaningful conversations with my mom and my best friend. The stress is low and the frown lines aren’t getting deeper. Those days I manage to do all of the things, and I’m happy with myself. I feel like I’m actually doing a good job. But then there are days where I’m lucky if I even make it to 10am without an inner meltdown. Everything is wrong, everyone is crazy, the house is a mess, I’m a mess, and I’m far from enjoying every moment...the kids are on my last nerve, theyve spilled anything thats in front of them, they’ve pulled out every single toy, and I swear they’ve forgotten how to speak and are now just screaming random vowels..and I can’t, I just fucking can’t. So I yell, and I lose my shit, and I’m not the worlds greatest mommy. Those days when I’m too stressed out and have no time to or just don’t want to (gasp! I know! Terrible!) play hide and seek, are the days I really don’t think I have this mom thing down at all. I feel like I’m drowning and can’t even comprehend how any moms have it together all of the time. Or even half of the time. I wish I could be the mom I am on the good days, when I’m breezing through the day, every day. I wish I didn’t have those crazy, what the hell am I doing days. How am I trying to find the balance still, after three kids? But the truth is, that is the balance, you have great days and you have shitty days, you have Pinterest mom days and hot mess mom days. Whatever mom you are that day, you are still there, trying to mom. You are doing the best you can do, how ever much it is you can do that day, however little you can deal with that day. Showered, put together, checking off that to do list or in the same sweatpants for two days, ordering takeout for all your meals and forgetting the clothes in the wash again (yeah that’s me) it’s ok to be both, and you’re still a great mom. Because you’re loving those kids on ALL of the days. My kids feel all that love and they think I’m the best mom in the world even on those days when I can’t get my shit together. Ya know what else, they are still very well taken care of, even if their lunches were McPerfectly Prepared and came with a toy. And guess what else? They love me even if the dishes aren’t done, amazing right? I have to remind myself of that when I start feeling that mom guilt, when I’m worried that I’m failing because I can’t be on my game all of the time. When I am crying into my pizza, via hot mess moms dial-a-dinner, that the mom expectations that I put on my self, are so damn high, it’s alright if I don’t meet them at all times. That maybe I do have this mommin thing figured out for the most part. That it’s about love. There’s no Instagram filter for real life, it’s not always perfect, and that perfectly ok.
