Grandmas are wonderful, grandmas are loving and helpful and make life easier. They mean well, they’ve raised kids, they have seen it all, and most of the time you can learn a thing or two. But they raised kids in a different day and age. Life is a whole lot different the when they had babies and toddlers. My grandma actually asked me why I couldn’t just hold the baby in my arms when we took him home from the hospital. (There are so many things wrong with that statement alone I can’t even.) Like I said they mean well, I’m beyond blessed my kids and I have her. But when she starts in on how I raise my kids and what I should and shouldn’t be doing, I can’t help but grit my teeth, because it’s just not the same anymore. The time we are living in right now, I can’t let my kids go outside and play and be home when the “street lights come on”. People call the police on moms for kids playing in the backyard by themselves, with said mom watching from the window. The way of parenting back in the day, is child endangerment now. So some advice from my grandma and mom just ain’t gonna work out for me. Parenting is just plain different now. You can’t, and in a lot of cases shouldn’t, be parenting the way they did 20 something years ago. Would I like for my kids to be able to ride their bikes down the street without me jogging along side of them? Hell yes. Can I do that without Susan from across the street thinking I’m an asshole? No. But my kids grandmas can’t grasp that. What do you mean you can’t mother how you want to?! And I have to hear how I’m doing life wrong. I get eye rolls, and pursed lips and “you really shouldn’t be so overprotective”. When I say you can’t send your kids to school with a pb&j in their lunch bag anymore. When I say the kids can’t walk to and from school alone. When I say that you are judged from every angle these days from everyone from the mailman to your hair stylist, It’s like I have three heads. Its hard not to be frustrated when you’re being told how to parent from someone who has no idea how it actually is to parent in this, bento box, screen time, social media judging, keyboard warrior, allergy fearing, Pinterest party, anti discipline, anti vaccine, organic, vegan, gluten free, helicopter mom world we live in today. Give me all the recipes, teach me and my kids all the things. Snuggle my babies. Give me your ideas, help me decorate (maybe) but please please understand that even though mommin basics are the same, today the WAY you mom (or are allowed to mom) is a whole different potato.

Danielle Cohen